Alucard and AndrayaThe Talk!
by alucardgal
Summary: Alucard sits a 13 year old Andraya and tell her the 'Birds and the Bees' Warning no little kiddies please...its M for a reason!


**Here is the next 1 Shot!! Flames will be roasting Marshmallows!!!**

**Me: Ok….**

**Seras: Hmm?**

**Me: I wrote the first one shot at the same time as this one!**

**Alucard: ……….**

**Me: Hehehehehehehe…I tried to capture Alucard's Character for this one shot.**

**Alucard: Why? Why the Birds and the Bees?**

**Me: Hehehehehehehehehehehehe……..Oh just to torture you Alucard.**

**Alucard: ……..Women are supposed to tell the kids……**

**Me: Stop whining and besides Andraya wont listen to anyone other that you and Sir Integra.**

**Alucard: ………Alright already….Grrrrr……… **

**Me: Anyway, this has some things kid can't read unless you are 16 yrs old.**

**Andraya: Nooo!!! I don't wanna!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Me: Ok…but you must Andraya…**

**Seras: Ok, before anyone says anything…here is the disclaimer, alucardgal doesn't own Hellsing, if she did, it would be in chaos. Now on with the ONE SHOT FIC!!!!!**

**-London, England-**

In an office of a manor, was a tall man wearing a crimson coat, hat and tie. Along with orange sunglasses, and a black suit underneath his coat. With him, a young thirteen teenager girl, who was wearing a pair of back jeans with a red t-shirt-that had in big black letters that say, '**Bite Me'**.

The teen sighed and then asked, "Why are we in my mother's office while she is away?" Then the teen sat in her mother's chair while the man chuckled and replied as he walked to her from the portrait of her grandfather, that was above the fireplace, "We are here, because you need to know the 'Birds and the Bees.' As your mother had called it."

"Mom did say something about that…but not in full detail though…she told me that you would, Al." the teen stated, as she was bored. The man, now know as 'Al' chuckled and stated, "Yes, I would Andraya…"

"But the day after my 13th birthday?" Complained the now know teen as Andraya. Al crooked an eye brow, knowing that she preferred to be free to do nothing today. Al then chuckled, after he had heard her thoughts, and stated, "Now, now Andraya…I know you want to be free after your birthday, but I was ordered to tell you these things…you know that."

"I know Al-U-Card." Andraya stated as she pronounced his full name by the syllables. Alucard smiled and said, "Well, we will get started, eh?"

"Fine!" Andraya stated, and then continued, "Then teach me, as you were ordered."

Alucard merely chuckled and stated as he raised his hands, "Releasing Art Restriction Control until the Target has been educated."

"Why this way?" Andraya asked as Alucard's shadows engulfed the room for the teachings. "Because Andraya, I showed your mother this way." Alucard replied with a grin. "Now the 'Birds and the Bees' is about your reproduction as a female and a boy's reproduction as a male. Do you follow?" Alucard instructed as the shadows appeared to form figures of Andraya and a random boy as visuals.

"Yes, continue." Andraya stated as she…so far like the help of the visuals that was given.

"Good, now we will begin with the female side of the reproduction." Alucard stated as the boy faded and the shadow Andraya outside frame faded, showing only the female reproduction organs. "Ew!" Squealed Andraya with a nasty look on her face only to make Alucard laugh.

He explained the functions of the organs to her, while he did Andraya was disgusted by the visuals now, which made Alucard chuckled.

"Anyway, do you understand the female reproductive side? The menstruation cycle, the period, as you teens call it?" Alucard asked. "Yes I do…even though it is disturbing…"Andraya replied. "Good." Alucard stated as the shadow Andraya disappeared and the shadow boy reappeared. "Ok…I take that back, I believe that this will be the disturbing part of the whole thing." Andraya stated as Alucard chuckled and replied, "Anyway, back on track, what you need to know about the male's reproductive system. Do you understand?"

"Yes I do…continue." Andraya stated as she was nervous about this part of the talk. "Alright, now this is what the male reproduction looks like." Alucard continued as the shadow boys outside disappeared but the reproduction didn't.

Alucard explained how the male reproduction worked. It had made Andraya a little more uncomfortable than she was about the female reproduction lesson.

"Now do you understand how the male reproduction works?" Alucard asked. "Yes Alucard…I do but it made more uncomfortable than the female's reproductive part." Andraya stated as Alucard chuckled at her. "No…for you that is not the gross part…Andraya are you ready to learn how to make a baby and prevent yourself too?" Alucard asked knowing that he will only show the reproductive parts not with the body, like he did with his master.

"What?! Aaaa……ok I am ready to be taught how…continue." Andraya replied with a more of a nasty look than the last. "Good, now the details are going to be the reproduction view, instead of the normal view. Do you understand?" Alucard stated as the female reproduction appeared while the males stayed put.

"Yes I understand….this is going to be gross…" Andraya replied as she was getting more uncomfortable. "Andraya you need to know this. I know to you it is gross. So, you need to pay attention." Alucard stated sternly. "Ok…Al." Andraya stated as she nodded slowly, knowing full well not to piss him off like she normally does.

"Good. So, when the male and female are ready to have sexual intercourse…the female's body produces its own lubricant for the male's penis to enter smoothly." Alucard stated as the female's organs showed the females precum. Andraya nods as she was getting more grossed out.

"Now at this time the male's penis also has precum as well. Sometimes need extra lubricant too." Alucard continued as it showed the penis having its own precum. Andraya is getting even more edgy, hoping that the lesson is almost over. "Now the intercourse." Alucard said with a naughty grin, in which Andraya does know why he was grinning for.

"Anyway, the penis enters the vagina slowly or hastily. Depending on what the two are or were doing." Alucard continued as the shadows did what he was saying.

Some moment later, Alucard finished his lecture about everything Andraya needed to know about the 'Birds and the Bees'. The restrictions closed back on him and the room became as his master's office.

"Ewwwwwww!!!!! I am not doing any of that!!!!!!" Andraya exclaimed as she felt disgusted about the whole thing. Alucard laughed and stated, "Andraya it may be gross, but it is sometimes you need to know these things. Now you know what a virgin is and a non-virgin." Andraya nodded in understanding. "Now…let's go to the dojo and practice some more of your training." Alucard stated as he faded away. "Ok…Al…meet you there." Andraya replied as she left her mother's office.

-In the Dojo-

Alucard was waiting for Andraya to meet him. Since it will be a few minutes before she get here, Alucard phased his fedora hat, trench coat, and his tinted yellow-orange sun glasses off. He did not want them ruined, for Andraya's training anyway.

He did not wait long, Andraya came into the room with a small smile as she walked up to Alucard and greeted, "So, what are we doing today? Since I already know the basics?" Alucard chuckled and replied, "Well, in some cases, some men-who are too drunk, where their since all off. Also, to try to relieve some sexually tension. I am going to teach you a few more things. Other than the block, punch, and kick routine that I had taught you. They are a bit advance, and yes Seras can do them too."

"Eww…drunken men? Wow…cool!" Andraya exclaimed as she thought about what Alucard had stated to her. Alucard chuckled, and stated, "Now I am going to explain a scenario for you to understand what I am about to teach you."

"Ok…what is the scenario?" Andraya asked him.

"Good, now the scenario is that a drunken man is walking toward you. In his mind, his is thinking you're easy prey…and we know that is not the case." Alucard stated. "Ok…now what are you going to teach me?" Andraya replied. "I want you to throw me over your right shoulder." Alucard stated as he sent a mental picture of the move to her. "Ok…I am ready." Andraya stated as she took her stance. "Alright, but remember to pretend I'm the drunken man." Alucard stated as he walked to her right side and placed his right had onto her shoulder. As soon as his hand touch her, Andraya grabbed his hand and in one swift motion she turned her back to him, pulling on his hand. Sending him over her shoulder, she had him hit the floor hard, almost denting the mat and the concrete underneath.

Alucard hits the ground hard, but what shocked him was how fast Andraya reacted and how hard and fast he went down. Alucard looked up at Andraya, from the floor and smirked as he replied, "Very good Andraya, I am very proud of you." Andraya smiled at him, and moved of the way, and replied, "Thank you, anything else?"

"Yes, now…" Alucard replies as he stood up and turned to Andraya and continued, "There is another one. Same scenario, but I will be in front of you this time. Now, when I grab your left wrist, and pull you close to me, I want you to knee me in the groin."

"What? No! I don't want to hurt you!" Andraya exclaimed. Alucard chuckled and replied, "Andraya don't worry…your mother did worse…believe me."

"Ok." Andraya shyly stated as she nodded slowly. "Good, now." Alucard stated as he grabbed her wrist and pulled her toward him. Andraya was startled at first, but she quickly recovered as she was pulled toward Alucard, she reacted by kneeing him in the groined. As she was let go, and Alucard was bent over in pain, an idea popped in her head. She hit Alucard at the base of his skull, stunning him. The hit would have either killed him, or render him unconscious if he was human.

After a moment passed, Alucard recovered from the hit and laughed. He kept laughing as he stood. Andraya had already moved, so he can stand. She shivered as he kept laughing. "Alucard, enough please!!!!" Andraya stated while she shook her head at him. Alucard chuckled and replied, "That was AMAZING My Dear Andraya. Who told you to do that?"

"No one…it only came to me…Why?" Andraya replied with an eye brow raised. "Hmm…nothing. Anyway, you do need to work on your speed more…Ah Walter great timing. You need to help her in that category." Alucard stated as Walter walked in. Walter chuckled and replied, "Oh really? Well alright."

Andraya groaned, as she remembered what Seras told her about Walter when the Valentine brothers attacked. Also, she knew how deadly Walter's dental floss was. It will take a lot more energy to keep herself from getting cut by them. "Shall we, Miss. Andraya?" Walter asked, as the deadly dental floss surrounded him, glinting now and then showing where the floss is located at a random time. Andraya only nodded as she cringed and started running from him.

-1 Hour Later-

"I am tired." Andraya stated as she fell over onto her back, landing onto the mat. "My, my Miss. Andraya, you have made progress since the last time we did this." Walter stated, as he too was worn out and taking a sitting break as he sat in an available chair that was near by.

"Y-Y-E-E-A-A-H-H?" Andraya asked breathing heavily, trying to catch her breath. "Too tired, Honey?" A voice was heard from the door to the Dojo. The three turned their heads and saw Sir Integra and Seras by the door. "Out doing yourself are we?" Sir Integra continued with an eye brow raised.

The three chuckled and Alucard replied first, "Master, the lesson was complete. We did some more training." Walter nodded and replied second, "Yes, I did help Miss. Andraya with her speed." Andraya nodded and took a couple big breathes before replying last, "Yes, I am tired. I learned what I needed to know. Also, my speed increased a little more today."

"Good, I am proud of you. Now did you practice your aiming?" Sir Integra replied. "No mother not today." Andraya stated. "Alright…come with me, Andraya…to target practice." Sir Integra stated as she left the room as Seras when to Alucard to talk to him privately. Andraya nodded as she replied, "Ok Mom…I will meet you there!" Andraya left the dojo to her room to retrieve her pistol she had gotten from her mother for her birthday.

For the next couple weeks, Andraya quickly increased her aiming to perfection as her mother had done at her age. The next week as Alucard had mention he would teach her to use a sword. He promised her on her birthday he would. She was a fast learner on that category, and Alucard was a good teacher as well.

Now Andraya is learning to use utensils as weapons, just in case she does not have her weapons on her as protection, in defense only.

The end…..for now….

**Me: Well…how did you guys like it?**

**Alucard: Hmmm….I did not thought to do that with My Master…**

**Seras: Well, I did not talk this time…**

**Sir Integra: Hmmm…..Interesting…..**

**Me: Humph! Andraya how did you like it?**

**Andraya: I liked it except for the 'Bird as the Bees' part, other than that it was good**

**Everyone: REVIEW!!! OR NO SEQUEL!!!!!**


End file.
